Being a psychiatrist is no fun. They are medical doctors and primarily diagnose and prescribe medications. Psychologists (some) and therapists are more intimately involved with and see their clients more often. Psychiatrists see a diagnosis and therapists see a person. Generalization.
Z
getting to know you all
79 posts • Page 5 of 8
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Zambize4899 - Posts: 499
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:35 am
Peter -
Ok, I've been wanting to ask, and since I'm in such an analytical mood, I'll ask. When you refer to your ex-girlfriend, the wench she was, why do you always refer to her as a "black" woman, rather than a woman? My partner is white, but I don't call her a "white woman". LOL She's also Jewish, but I don't call her my Jewish, white girlfriend. LOL Although I have called her my (*&#^*# girlfriend. LOL, but not to her Jewish, white face.
Z
Ok, I've been wanting to ask, and since I'm in such an analytical mood, I'll ask. When you refer to your ex-girlfriend, the wench she was, why do you always refer to her as a "black" woman, rather than a woman? My partner is white, but I don't call her a "white woman". LOL She's also Jewish, but I don't call her my Jewish, white girlfriend. LOL Although I have called her my (*&#^*# girlfriend. LOL, but not to her Jewish, white face.
Z
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snowboss - Posts: 458
- Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:53 pm
WOW - - i love this post.............i need to get my 16 yr old daughter to read it, we "fight" about our stands on gay/not gay , choice /birth etc. etc. pretty regularly, and i must admit there is a very fine line to belief, theory, acceptance, denial, etc etc etc...........while as i stated before that I don't believe in the lifestyle and I can't put my "it's alright for you" stamp on it.........i believe more whole heartedly .....to the point of killing that I in no way have the right to tell "you" {anyone} what they can and can't do with their lives....i can give my opinion...........but it stops right there, it's just my opinion. And who you sleep with or live with or confide in.....in no way affects our {whose ever and mine} relationship.....................what, am i gonna get gay fish because Z gives me advise????? Am I gonna get Tangs that beat up Clowns because they have pretty coats on when I get advice from Gumbii???? what an assinine thought...LMAO
Now as a father, i have to figure out what is the correct way to teach this concept {parenting should have a book, lol} like i said the line is so fine between wanting to say, "it's a wrong lifestyle" and God {higher power} didn't give me the authority to say "it's wrong" - -so Z -with all your schoolling, degrees, 30 yrs expierience as a gay person and you've probably been to the store twice, lol what is your {very respected BTW} opinion/thoughts on this???? I don't believe in "letting them figure it out" I made enough mistakes in my life....if i can help her not make at least those mistakes, then she will have more room to make her own.......why repeat the ones that have been made? I want to present her with all the information I can {not all the ideals that are mine} for example......I'm haveing a very hard time with this Presidential election, so my daughter and I have a deal, I'm giving her my vote BUT she has to explain to me why we are voteing for whtever candidate we are......it has been an awsome expierience, we talk, we fight, we agree, we disagree.....but more importantly we will arrive at a choice, a well informed choice....together on election day..................
interesting question you posed to PK, I obviously can't speak for him, but I dated a very native Hawian for a while and I always refered to her as my Hawian GF - -and I really can't say why....I don't refer to my wonderful wife as my White wife of Polish decent - - -although like you said I do refer to my cheating X wife as *&%#$#!%$#&^% C*nt --- lol
But i think that we {humans} as a rule are simetrical beings...............so if we chose to move out of this and date, a person of another race, creed, color, same sex..............we might need to "warn" other simetrical beings, so they aren't taken off guard, or .......with the rampent problems with raceism today....it may be a simple as a filter..............if i say , my Black gf and you come back with some crazy racist remarks.....well..................guess who i'm not talking to anymore, hehehehe.............................
Good thoughts and concepts.....i love em all
Snowboss
Now as a father, i have to figure out what is the correct way to teach this concept {parenting should have a book, lol} like i said the line is so fine between wanting to say, "it's a wrong lifestyle" and God {higher power} didn't give me the authority to say "it's wrong" - -so Z -with all your schoolling, degrees, 30 yrs expierience as a gay person and you've probably been to the store twice, lol what is your {very respected BTW} opinion/thoughts on this???? I don't believe in "letting them figure it out" I made enough mistakes in my life....if i can help her not make at least those mistakes, then she will have more room to make her own.......why repeat the ones that have been made? I want to present her with all the information I can {not all the ideals that are mine} for example......I'm haveing a very hard time with this Presidential election, so my daughter and I have a deal, I'm giving her my vote BUT she has to explain to me why we are voteing for whtever candidate we are......it has been an awsome expierience, we talk, we fight, we agree, we disagree.....but more importantly we will arrive at a choice, a well informed choice....together on election day..................
interesting question you posed to PK, I obviously can't speak for him, but I dated a very native Hawian for a while and I always refered to her as my Hawian GF - -and I really can't say why....I don't refer to my wonderful wife as my White wife of Polish decent - - -although like you said I do refer to my cheating X wife as *&%#$#!%$#&^% C*nt --- lol
But i think that we {humans} as a rule are simetrical beings...............so if we chose to move out of this and date, a person of another race, creed, color, same sex..............we might need to "warn" other simetrical beings, so they aren't taken off guard, or .......with the rampent problems with raceism today....it may be a simple as a filter..............if i say , my Black gf and you come back with some crazy racist remarks.....well..................guess who i'm not talking to anymore, hehehehe.............................
Good thoughts and concepts.....i love em all
Snowboss
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Peterkarig3210 - Posts: 1980
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:04 am
Personally-I-like-the-polarity-betwen-a-man-and-a-woman.....I-love-the-fact-that-a-man-and-a-woman-fit-together-anatomicly,-and-I-like-the-way-women-are-energetically-too......I-don't-get-the-rough-sex-that-two-testoterone-packed-men-have-together-in-West-Hollywood....It's-not-attractive-to-me....It's-like-trying-to-put-the-positive-ends-of-two-magnets-together-from-my-perspective.....I've-had-many-gay-massage-clients-and-quite-a-few-have-been-with-the-same-partner-for-15-plus-years-which-I-think-is-admirable.......I-personally-think-homosexuality-is-harmless.....Many-animals-play-the-role-of-the-other-sex-when-there-are-too-many-of-one-and-none-of-the-other,-so-actually,-I-do-think-homosexuality-is-normal......Religon-is-invariably-devisive-and-likes-to-seperate-itself-from-the-"non-believers",or-people-who-have-different-beliefs-and-I-believe-this-is-a-man-made-rule,-not-that-of-God-who-loves-everybody-regardless-of-sexual-orientation.....Finally,-I-don't-think-homosexuality-is-contagious......They-don't-make-adopted-children-gay-and-they-hurt-noone-in-my-opinion.
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Zambize4899 - Posts: 499
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:35 am
Snow -
Actually I can respond to your question posed to me because I'm a counselor for troubled youth, and not for any of the reasons you listed! My advice is that you have to let your daughter make mistakes, that's how we learn. It is hard to watch them make the mistakes you already made, but we learn best from our own experience, not by being told how (or how not) to do something. Also, developmentally, teens are doing primarily two things 1) establishing their independence and 2) defining themselves. Both of these very important developmental milestones are critical to attaining proper coping skills and general life skills. Teens sense a threat to both of these objectives when anyone tries to inhibit their ability to explore themselves.
Let your daughter believe what she believes, don't argue about it, just respect her opinion and ask her to respect your opinion. She may change her mind tomorrow, and besides, she's actually listening to and being influenced by you perhaps more than you know.
Peter -
Trust me, two women fit together just fine. Quite cozy actually. Our concept of what "fits" perhaps needs to be examined. Personally, the idea of a penis in me is repulsive and doesn't seem like it would "fit" at all. Expand you horizons, try making love to your wife without your penis. (No offense guys, I'm sure your women adore your member, but it's a fact that very few women have an orgasm with the penis alone.)
And Peter ---> "They-usually-aren't-going-to-breed,-so-what's-the-worry?" ----> WTF!?
Zambize
Actually I can respond to your question posed to me because I'm a counselor for troubled youth, and not for any of the reasons you listed! My advice is that you have to let your daughter make mistakes, that's how we learn. It is hard to watch them make the mistakes you already made, but we learn best from our own experience, not by being told how (or how not) to do something. Also, developmentally, teens are doing primarily two things 1) establishing their independence and 2) defining themselves. Both of these very important developmental milestones are critical to attaining proper coping skills and general life skills. Teens sense a threat to both of these objectives when anyone tries to inhibit their ability to explore themselves.
Let your daughter believe what she believes, don't argue about it, just respect her opinion and ask her to respect your opinion. She may change her mind tomorrow, and besides, she's actually listening to and being influenced by you perhaps more than you know.
Peter -
Trust me, two women fit together just fine. Quite cozy actually. Our concept of what "fits" perhaps needs to be examined. Personally, the idea of a penis in me is repulsive and doesn't seem like it would "fit" at all. Expand you horizons, try making love to your wife without your penis. (No offense guys, I'm sure your women adore your member, but it's a fact that very few women have an orgasm with the penis alone.)
And Peter ---> "They-usually-aren't-going-to-breed,-so-what's-the-worry?" ----> WTF!?
Zambize
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Zambize4899 - Posts: 499
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:35 am
Snow -
I have to disagree with this one:
Snow said "But i think that we {humans} as a rule are simetrical beings...............so if we chose to move out of this and date, a person of another race, creed, color, same sex..............we might need to "warn" other simetrical beings, so they aren't taken off guard"
That is to say it is ok if someone else has issue with someone being different. We "warn" someone when there is impending danger or something reasonable to be wary of. If someone has issue with a different race, then maybe they should be surprised and be uncomfortable. It's their own prejudice making them so and to give them warning is to approve of their prejudice. And about symmetry, isn't two women or two men more symmetrical than a man and woman? That would be asymmetry. And if "we {humans} as a rule are symmetrical beings", then why were so many different variations of us created?
I don't introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Z and I'm gay." just to warn people. If they get to know me first they'll like me and maybe expand their horizons a bit. This has happened many times and I've helped many people reconsider their prejudices by allowing them to know me first. I'm never deceptive, but if I'm not throwing it out there to warm someone, my orientation usually simply doesn't come up for a bit. At work, a very religious co-worker didn't know I was gay until he had spent many hours chatting with me and he liked me very much. He found out that I'm gay and after a few more (more interesting conversations), he's reconsidering his upcoming vote on gay marriage in California. I'm glad I didn't warn him.
Z
I have to disagree with this one:
Snow said "But i think that we {humans} as a rule are simetrical beings...............so if we chose to move out of this and date, a person of another race, creed, color, same sex..............we might need to "warn" other simetrical beings, so they aren't taken off guard"
That is to say it is ok if someone else has issue with someone being different. We "warn" someone when there is impending danger or something reasonable to be wary of. If someone has issue with a different race, then maybe they should be surprised and be uncomfortable. It's their own prejudice making them so and to give them warning is to approve of their prejudice. And about symmetry, isn't two women or two men more symmetrical than a man and woman? That would be asymmetry. And if "we {humans} as a rule are symmetrical beings", then why were so many different variations of us created?
I don't introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Z and I'm gay." just to warn people. If they get to know me first they'll like me and maybe expand their horizons a bit. This has happened many times and I've helped many people reconsider their prejudices by allowing them to know me first. I'm never deceptive, but if I'm not throwing it out there to warm someone, my orientation usually simply doesn't come up for a bit. At work, a very religious co-worker didn't know I was gay until he had spent many hours chatting with me and he liked me very much. He found out that I'm gay and after a few more (more interesting conversations), he's reconsidering his upcoming vote on gay marriage in California. I'm glad I didn't warn him.
Z
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Peterkarig3210 - Posts: 1980
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:04 am
Please-don't-take-offense-about-the-breeding-thing-Z....I-was-making-an-attempt-to-look-at-homosexuality-from-a-anti-gay-christian-perspective-and-I-apologize.
I-also-feel-that-if-a-loving-couple-wants-to-adopt-children,-get-them-out-of-state-custody,-it-doesn't-matter-much-that-couples-sexual-orientation.
Seeing-2-people-working-together-constructively-is-what's-important-IMO.
About-the-anatomically-compatability-thing-with-a-man-and-a-woman......That's-my-preferance......I'm-sure-you're-very-happy-and-feel-thhat-you-and-your-partner-fit-together-wonderfully.....I'm-happy-for-you-Zambize....Right-now-I'm-single-and-miss-the-intimacy.....Having-to-dump-the-most-beautiful-woman-I've-ever-known-is-tough...I-loved-the-way-she-smelled,-her-eyes,-every-little-thing-about-her-emottionally-and-physically....I'm-a-massage-therapist-and-I-think-I-can-safely-say-that-I'm-pretty-adept-at-touch....I-never-get-sexual-during-a-professional-massage,-but-often-it's-a-very-intimate-situation.......I-don't-have-to-poke-a-woman-to-have-a-wonderful-experience...Sometimes-people-(often-women)-have-profound-spiritual-experiences-during-a-massage.....At-the-spa-I-used-to-work-at,-sometimes-a-woman-who-had-specifically-requested-a-woman-therapist-and-at-the-last-minute-no-women-were-avaliable,..they-would-always-send-them-to-me-because-I-have-a-very-professional-manner-about-me-and-I-knew-how-to-make-a-woman-feel-comfortable.
And-as-for-satisfying-a-woman.....For-me-I-don't-get-turned-on-unless-my-woman-is-turned-on.....Sex-for-me-doesn't-have-a-goal-either.....I-like-to-make-love-for-hours-without-having-an-orgasm.....I'm-not-the-typical-wham-bam-thank-you-mam.-guy......I-try-to-empathise,-or-put-myself-into-my-partners-mind....Her-pleasure-is-my-reward.....Peter
I-also-feel-that-if-a-loving-couple-wants-to-adopt-children,-get-them-out-of-state-custody,-it-doesn't-matter-much-that-couples-sexual-orientation.
Seeing-2-people-working-together-constructively-is-what's-important-IMO.
About-the-anatomically-compatability-thing-with-a-man-and-a-woman......That's-my-preferance......I'm-sure-you're-very-happy-and-feel-thhat-you-and-your-partner-fit-together-wonderfully.....I'm-happy-for-you-Zambize....Right-now-I'm-single-and-miss-the-intimacy.....Having-to-dump-the-most-beautiful-woman-I've-ever-known-is-tough...I-loved-the-way-she-smelled,-her-eyes,-every-little-thing-about-her-emottionally-and-physically....I'm-a-massage-therapist-and-I-think-I-can-safely-say-that-I'm-pretty-adept-at-touch....I-never-get-sexual-during-a-professional-massage,-but-often-it's-a-very-intimate-situation.......I-don't-have-to-poke-a-woman-to-have-a-wonderful-experience...Sometimes-people-(often-women)-have-profound-spiritual-experiences-during-a-massage.....At-the-spa-I-used-to-work-at,-sometimes-a-woman-who-had-specifically-requested-a-woman-therapist-and-at-the-last-minute-no-women-were-avaliable,..they-would-always-send-them-to-me-because-I-have-a-very-professional-manner-about-me-and-I-knew-how-to-make-a-woman-feel-comfortable.
And-as-for-satisfying-a-woman.....For-me-I-don't-get-turned-on-unless-my-woman-is-turned-on.....Sex-for-me-doesn't-have-a-goal-either.....I-like-to-make-love-for-hours-without-having-an-orgasm.....I'm-not-the-typical-wham-bam-thank-you-mam.-guy......I-try-to-empathise,-or-put-myself-into-my-partners-mind....Her-pleasure-is-my-reward.....Peter
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Zambize4899 - Posts: 499
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:35 am
Peter -
It sounds like leaving your ex was, and is, very hard. But it also sounds like it was the right thing. So many times the right thing is so hard to do. I've left more than one poisonous beautiful woman. And I still think about them sometimes.
When anti-gay people like to point out that "at least they're (gay people) not breeding", I like to point out that the gay population is a result of heterosexual breeding.
Z
It sounds like leaving your ex was, and is, very hard. But it also sounds like it was the right thing. So many times the right thing is so hard to do. I've left more than one poisonous beautiful woman. And I still think about them sometimes.
When anti-gay people like to point out that "at least they're (gay people) not breeding", I like to point out that the gay population is a result of heterosexual breeding.
Z
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Peterkarig3210 - Posts: 1980
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:04 am
OK.....Just-read-the-post-about-my-ex-black-girlfriend.....You-are-so-damned-politically-correct!!!......I-don't-always-refer-to-her-as-a-black-woman....I-just-thought-she-was-so-incredibly-beautiful......Her-skin-is-gorgeous,-her-shape-is-gorgeous,-etc-etc.....I-loved-to-have-a-relationship-with-a-woman-most-"white"men-aren't-commonly-seen-with-and-to-go-against-stereotypes.....If-you-don't-like-the-way-I've-betrayed-her-then-by-all-means-put-me-into-you-male-pig-sh*t-box.....Sorry-if-I-offended-you-Z....We-men-are-all-the-same,-right?...Just-a-bunch-of-dicks-on-testosterone.
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Peterkarig3210 - Posts: 1980
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:04 am
I-don't-refer-to-her-as-a-black-woman-because-of-what-I'm-about-to-say.....As-I-said,-it's-because-a-white-man-and-a-black-woman-is-rare-and-unconventual,-and-I-don't-use-the-adjective-in-most-other-areas-of-my-life.
I-did-get-a-veiw-on-the-disfunction-a-certian-segment-of-the-American-black-community,-particularly-generation-after-generation-of-children-growing-up-with-one-parent,-usually-being-the-mother......I-saw-how-boys-are-raised-by-a-parent-who-lacks-the-skills-or-cultural-experience-to-raise-them-to-be-productive-people-able-to-stay-with-a-woman-who-he-gets-pregnant-and-keep-a-family-together....I-felt-sorry-for-this-woman-and-she-felt-like-a-bad-mother-because-it-was-clear-(without-me-trying-to-make-it-obvious)-that-I-had-the-instinct-and-skills-of-a-good-parent-and-she-didn't......I-would-shop-for-healthy-food,-cook-the-dinners,-and-I-even-brought-home-books-from-the-library-and-read-to-them-among-many-other-things-like-teaching-them-how-to-swim,-ride-a-bike-without-traning-wheels,-crawl-around-tide-pools,-and-go-hiking-etc.....I-wanted-to-show-her-and-her-kids-a-better-life-but-that-was-just-too-much-to-ask-for.....I-see-how-most-of-this-disfunction-in-the-poor-black-commuunity-started-with-slavery-and-the-remaining-racism,-lack-of-oportunities-or-the-drive-to-grow-intellectually-and-take-advantage-of-oportunities,-and-I-hoped-love-would-conquer-all-and-all-would-come-around-for-the-good......Alas!!!....With-a-broken-heart-I've-let-the-most-beautiful-lovely-woman-I've-ever-known-go.....Even-if-I-could-forgive-her-for-the-cheating-and-stealing-I-can't-ruin-my-son's-life-by-staying-with-her.....My-son-was-raised-right-and-it-shows.....He-is-my-#1-responsibility.
Thank-you-Boss-for-your-comment-about-your-"Hawaian-girl"......I-ithink-if-someone-is-different-from-you-it's-OK-to-refer-to-them-as-black,purple-green-or-whatever.....I-feel-for-people-who-were-raised-to-be-disfunctual.....I-also-admire-some-who-against-many-odds-have-struggled-to-make-sucesses-of-themselves....Some-of-the-nurses-from-poor-socioeconomic-backgrounds-I've-come-in-contact-with-give-off-a-beautiful-aora-of-accomplishment-and-grace.....They-put-themselves-through-school-and-made-good-lives-for-themselves,-and-I,-as-a-privilaged-white-guy,-am-soft-and-weak-compared-to-them.
I-did-get-a-veiw-on-the-disfunction-a-certian-segment-of-the-American-black-community,-particularly-generation-after-generation-of-children-growing-up-with-one-parent,-usually-being-the-mother......I-saw-how-boys-are-raised-by-a-parent-who-lacks-the-skills-or-cultural-experience-to-raise-them-to-be-productive-people-able-to-stay-with-a-woman-who-he-gets-pregnant-and-keep-a-family-together....I-felt-sorry-for-this-woman-and-she-felt-like-a-bad-mother-because-it-was-clear-(without-me-trying-to-make-it-obvious)-that-I-had-the-instinct-and-skills-of-a-good-parent-and-she-didn't......I-would-shop-for-healthy-food,-cook-the-dinners,-and-I-even-brought-home-books-from-the-library-and-read-to-them-among-many-other-things-like-teaching-them-how-to-swim,-ride-a-bike-without-traning-wheels,-crawl-around-tide-pools,-and-go-hiking-etc.....I-wanted-to-show-her-and-her-kids-a-better-life-but-that-was-just-too-much-to-ask-for.....I-see-how-most-of-this-disfunction-in-the-poor-black-commuunity-started-with-slavery-and-the-remaining-racism,-lack-of-oportunities-or-the-drive-to-grow-intellectually-and-take-advantage-of-oportunities,-and-I-hoped-love-would-conquer-all-and-all-would-come-around-for-the-good......Alas!!!....With-a-broken-heart-I've-let-the-most-beautiful-lovely-woman-I've-ever-known-go.....Even-if-I-could-forgive-her-for-the-cheating-and-stealing-I-can't-ruin-my-son's-life-by-staying-with-her.....My-son-was-raised-right-and-it-shows.....He-is-my-#1-responsibility.
Thank-you-Boss-for-your-comment-about-your-"Hawaian-girl"......I-ithink-if-someone-is-different-from-you-it's-OK-to-refer-to-them-as-black,purple-green-or-whatever.....I-feel-for-people-who-were-raised-to-be-disfunctual.....I-also-admire-some-who-against-many-odds-have-struggled-to-make-sucesses-of-themselves....Some-of-the-nurses-from-poor-socioeconomic-backgrounds-I've-come-in-contact-with-give-off-a-beautiful-aora-of-accomplishment-and-grace.....They-put-themselves-through-school-and-made-good-lives-for-themselves,-and-I,-as-a-privilaged-white-guy,-am-soft-and-weak-compared-to-them.
